There's something sacred for me about music, and doing music.
That's probably one of the big reasons of the discussions and problems I have in my professional/student life. Because somehow I expect from other people a different kind of respect about that were doing. Or unleast that they respect me, and my space, and right of doing that (on my respectful way) because that is kind of sacred for me.
I don't know, for me if there's something, someone divine taking care of us in any way - doesn't matter if is this big, unexplainenable energy, a God or anything - and I really believe there is, this divine thing likes to show up on Art. And the moment I can feel it the most is when there's music around. When I'm listening, playing or whathever. That's the moment I can touch my own piece of spirit.
Of course that's only how things are for me.
I think we feel this good - whatever you like to call it, and howhever, spiritually or not, you prefer to classify it - when we're doing what we really love. That thing tha really makes sense on your life.
Artists have luck. Usually this thing is their job. It's a kind of curse, but a good one.
I've never solved my problems with drawing, you know. Drawing was the first thing I've really love in my life. Was my first way of express myself and to feel the world. And was the first (serious) thing I gave up of doing. And I still didn't find how to bring that back to my life completely.
Drawing, painting, these are my spiritual things.
My spiritual acts.
So, it's pretty complicate to never solve my problems with that. That confuses my spirit.
I have big problems with music too, of course.
You know, faith problems.
About the meaning of doing that, the real fuction of our jobs and the concrete reflexes and effects of our music on the world (and its real serious problems), or why we have to pass for the kind of crap we do to do a thing supposedly beautiful and artistic...
Sometimes it's pretty hard. Sometimes it doesn't makes any sense. And I'm living a phase of this in the last months I guess, that was pretty intesified for some recent facts.
So, I had to remember the reasons of my believing and faith on that in the last days, becase my unbelieving was growing up so big that it was starting to leave me no exits of my own disturbed mind.
I believe in music because of all the times it saved my life
(for this you can read my peace of mind, my sanity, my will of living for some days more)
giving me something to do and think about.
I believe in music because of all the times I've cried on a stage or in a theatre watching some concert.
I believe in music because I remember when I used to go to concerts with my parents, usually to watch my sister playing, and spent all concert looking around, observing people, curtains, lights ans colours, imagining scripts of comic books I've never really written but that is still somewhere in my mind.
I believe in music because since I was very young I imagine stories and things that would happen in my own life in near future about something, and all that always become very big and distant in time - and the moment I can do better this kind of travelling is watching a concert. And that's good, because sometimes to solve situations on my mind, just imagining possibilities is enough for some problems. Unleast for a while.
I believe in music because of the voice of my mum, and how I've figured out someday when I was a kid, that when she sings everything's ok. ( even it's not for real.)
I believe in music because of musicians that look to each other, and talk just with that, and because of the ones who totally give themselves to the music that moment and the ones who clearly have fun on stage.
I believe in music because there's a lot of times that rehearsals were the best part of my day, even if was just because in that moment I could see my friends and stop thinking about something.
I believe in music because of the special people I'v met doing that, more than once in my life.
I believe in music because of my dad playing guitar when he gets from work, and before get back to it.
I believe in music because of the smiles I can't avoid when I'm playing even I'm really piss off or sad about something.
I believe in music because of the concerts and because of the beer after.
I believe in music because I've already had classes that changed my life and met teachers that touched my soul.
I believe in music because it make you talk with and understand people from the other side of the world, no matter wich language you both speak.
I believe in music because I believe in revolution. Social, spiritual, human revolution and that music can be a way to do it.
I believe in music because of Venezuela, Russia, because of German and France, because of United States and Chile, because of Italy, Austria, Sweden and China.
I believe in music because of Brazil.
I believe in music because I don't think music necessarily makes somebody better, but it can change your life if you want it. And believe in that. Not as a magic potion or anything like that, but with people and for people who really work to that.
And because, even you don't have any hope of that can change anything, it's already a hope to continue to do it.